Faith's Ambition: The Billable Hours Edition

Bing Law 101

Faith — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 14:10:34 +0000

After taking a phone call from a prospective client for a criminal defense matter (the fact-gathering interview has already taken place):

Faith: (to supervising attorney) Could this guy BE any guiltier?

Yes, if I’m going to practice criminal defense, I’ve decided to master the art of practicing law as only Chandler Bing could.

Say WHAT?!?

Faith — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 06:00:16 +0000

(Faith’s first day at the office)

Senior Partner: Okay, Faith… we’re going to be billing you out at (amount) dollars per hour.
Faith: (long pause) No offense, but there’s no way in Hell I’d pay that for my services.
Senior Partner: (laughs heartily, then glances at Faith, who’s not laughing.)
Faith: I’m serious.

Guess Who’s Back… Back Online?

Faith — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 07:28:42 +0000

Hey all!

Sorry for the unexpected hiatus. Took the Bar Exam, went to Las Vegas to celebrate, saw a great concert, and then packed up everything and moved to another city. Throw a couple of “boy” adventures in there, and you’ve got an idea of what my life has been like, post-Bar Exam…

It’s been a crazy struggle, but I’ve got lots of new material to go up as soon as all the dust settles around me. I’ve finally got my Internet set up, though, so it’s all starting to come together! Will be posting more SOON. (Promise)

..and no, Bar Exam results have not been posted yet. Dammit.

Hump Day Hottie!

Faith — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 14:16:37 +0000

Yeah, again…. pardon me for the obviousness of this week’s choice, but I’ve been getting an insane number of hits looking for pictures of this “gorgeous hottie,” that I’ve mentioned on more than one post, so this is to appease some of them.

And it also gives me a chance to grope him with my eyes… again.

What can I say? I like my corn-fed Kansas boys. Clark Kent… *sigh*

Best. Advice. EVAH!

Faith — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 14:04:17 +0000

So… I’m not really in the business of handing out big hugs and sloppy kisses, but I could tell you who would be the FIRST recipient of such treatment if I ever started to do so.

Hands down: Thinking Fool.

A week or so ago, Fool put up a post to all Bar examinees with some information that he thought would be useful. One such slice of wisdom was to read every essay in the essay books that came with our Bar/Bri materials. I thought it was a bit much, but I was desperate, so I didn’t read ALL of the essays, but I may have happened to glance at a few from the last five years… just to get an idea. Yeah. It scared the hell out of me and I wanted to cry.

UNTIL… I was sitting in the Bar Exam. I opened up my exam packet to the first essay question… and it was practically THE SAME FACT PATTERN from a test that was offered about three years ago. Like I said, it wasn’t exactly the same, so I wasn’t able to just copy my memories of the answer down onto my paper. However, it was close enough that I was able to spot the underlying issues and go from there. It was an INSANE confidence builder. Until the second question. But that’s another story.

Anyway, THANK YOU from the bottom of my Bar Exam, Fool. I owe ya.

Overheard at The Bar Exam…

Faith — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 00:56:33 +0000

Faith (sitting down on a couch next to Kitrah dramatically) Okay, they need to give us the test so we can just get it over with! This is driving me crazy!
Kitrah: Why do you say that?
Faith: Because you know how I just excused myself to use the restroom a second ago? (Kitrah nods) Yeah, I walked into the freakin’ men’s room.

Yep. It’s true. This test is making me insane.

Faith on Federal Tax Law

Faith — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 23:51:31 +0000

Under the Tax Code, a “windfall” is considered to be taxable income. While most of us know what constitutes a financial “windfall,” Google defines it as “a large amount of sudden money.” In order to remember it for Bar Exam purposes, I have reduced the definition to this: “money for nothing and chicks for free.”

Yes, that’s right. I’ve been reduced to song lyrics as memory devices. And yes, we’ve got to move those microwave ovens. Just make sure you have the owner’s consent or you will be hit with a larceny charge… or common-law burglary if you do it at night.

Yep. I am SUCH a geek.

Interesting!

Faith — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 21:58:05 +0000

Since I started mentioning the Bar Exam and the fact that I’m taking it in less than 4 days… this blog has seen an OBSCENE growth in hits. Like, constitutionally-protected obscene.

Okay, I’m done with the puns. For now.

Hate Mail

Faith — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 14:34:56 +0000

In order to decompress from some of my pending Bar-Exam stress, I’ve been streaming old episodes of Celebrity Fit Club 5. I just got done watching the season finale during a break today. All I can really say about it is this (and I’m fully aware I’m something like 2 months late with this observation)…

Screech, (oh, I’m sorry… DUSTIN DIAMOND) you are the BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG I have ever seen in all my years. And I’ve met my fair share of douchebags. You constantly amaze me at the lengths you’ll go to in order to extend your 15 minutes of fame. From your “leaked” sex tape (yeah, we ALL know that YOU leaked it… the only one proud of that nasty schlong is you…) to your “Save My House From Foreclosure” campaign (which in itself was majorly tacky, especially considering that my sources tell me you weren’t even CLOSE to losing your house and the whole thing was just a publicity stunt), to your proclamations that you were “THE STAR” of Celebrity Fit Club 5… I’ve never seen such a publicity whore SO DESPERATE for attention.

There’s a reason that you were the only cast member to be in ALL of the Saved by the Bell spin-offs: It’s because you’re annoying, a sub-par actor, and frankly, no one wants to see your ugly mug anymore.

I didn’t even start watching CFC because of you. I watched because it thought it would be fun to see Marcia from The Brady Bunch… and because my brother listens to quite a bit of Cledus T. Judd‘s work… and because even though I was a die-hard Claymate, I also rooted for Kimberely Locke on American Idol 2. And who in the hell can forget Tiffany, Da Brat, and Warren G… all musicians who had pretty big hits during my “generation.” Who the hell were YOU? Some lame ass loser from an annoying Saturday morning television show. Yep, you were the star, all right. (In all fairness, I had NO clue who Ross Matthews was. But he came across better than you did on camera.) You said more annoying things and showed such poor judgment that I was left speechless on more than one occasion. If you dropped dead tomorrow, I would not shed a tear. Please kindly piss off.

Hugs and kisses,

Faith

P.S. I also find it incredibly amusing that you have been the only celebrity on record to lose a domain name dispute to a PARODY site. That, in itself, says everything that needs to be said. The parody site, by the way, ROCKS.

Oh Boy…

Faith — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 23:29:47 +0000

When your flash cards start to look like THIS….

…it’s time to call it a day.