May 31, 2007

Hooray for Boobies!

Posted in Guilty Pleasures, Hotties, Life at 8:15 am by Faith

I’ve said before that I’ve used my feminine charms in order to get things. Yeah, some may argue that I’m setting the women’s movement back through such actions. The sad part is… I really don’t care for such arguments. If flirting gives me what I want in exchange for making the other party feel good about themselves, then I don’t see where the harm is.

This REALLY rings true in the case of my Cable Guy. When I FIRST got cable, I flirted with him and got free premium channels. When I moved a year later, I got the same cable guy who gave me the same hookups at my new location (yes, there was mutual flirting here, too.) Fast-forward a year and a half: My mailman (who will be the topic of some hate blogging later) lost my cable payment, which resulted in my cable being disconnected before the Memorial Day weekend. I went in and paid the bill in person the same day the service was disconnected and made arrangements for my Internet to be connected again. However, due to the fact that my cable provider is merging with a satellite provider, they informed me that they would not be reconnecting my cable. I was okay with this, as I use the Internet WAY more than I watch TV. However, the downside was that the Internet reconnecting wouldn’t happen for at least a week or two.

cableguy2.jpg

In any case, I was headed out the door yesterday when I ran into said Cable Guy in my parking lot. He was on a service call to my neighbor’s house, but recognized me and talked to me for a few moments while I was standing near my car. After a few minutes of friendly chatting, I breached the topic:

Faith: Hey, if you get a spare minute and can reconnect my Internet, I’d be REALLY appreciative.
Cable Guy: You got disconnected?
Faith: Yeah. Long story. My mailman sucks. (laughing)
Cable Guy: I see…
Faith: When I went in and paid the bill, they told me that they’d get my internet reconnected, but it didn’t happen. (strategically leans against her open car door, pressing her chest forward slightly)
Cable Guy: (looking at Faith’s chest) I can definitely get that done for you this afternoon.
Faith: (smiling and straightening up) Thanks! You are a rock star!
Cable Guy: (smiling back) No problem, Faith. Have a great night.

When I got home last night, I was pleased to see that all lights on my modem were on, indicating that we were back to business as usual over at Casa de Faith. Out of morbid curiosity, I decided to flip on my TV to see if they had reconnected my cable, even though they told me it was impossible to do so. THE CABLE GUY RECONNECTED MY CABLE AS WELL, INCLUDING ALL THE PREMIUM CHANNELS.

Thank GOD I was wearing a low-cut tank top yesterday….

NOTE: I cannot get over how fast this new connection is. Moral of the story, kiddies? Always, always, ALWAYS flirt with your cable provider. 🙂

May 30, 2007

Tales From the FF 2004: When Life Imitates Art…

Posted in FF 2004, Friends, Fun with Entourage, Hip-Hop Mama, Must See TV, Rants at 8:23 am by Faith

I’ve been pretty forthcoming about the fact that I’m a big Entourage fan. I’ve been surprised at how quickly dialogue from the show has made it’s way into my daily vocab, however. Most of the lines I’ve seemed to have adopted have come from my favorite character, one Mr. Johnny Drama. However, you have to admit that it’s always a bit interesting when life imitates art.

Case in point: I was driving with Hip Hop Mama down in “the Valley” the other day. As we were cruising down the road, I noticed someone tailgating me, despite the fact that I was driving well above the speed limit:

Faith: Is it really necessary for this guy to drive UP my ass?
Hip-Hop Mama: (laughing)
Faith: (watching the guy in the rear view, getting more and more agitated) Seriously! This is effin’ ridiculous!
Hip-Hop Mama: (still laughing)
Faith: (had enough– yanks her car over to the side of the road and lets tailgating vehicle pass before charging back on the road and tailgating the vehicle that just passed her.)
Hip-Hop Mama: Okay, Faith. Do we really want to be picking a fight with Deliverance here?
Faith: (agitated) Was it really necessary for them to be driving UP MY ASS?
Hip-Hop Mama: Okay, settle down, Drama!
Faith: (starting to chuckle) Hold me back, Turtle. (car in front of her slams on his brakes, causing Faith to slam on the brakes in the FF 2004– Faith and Hip-Hop Mama lurch forward) ….FUCKING VALLEY, MAN!
Hip-Hop Mama: (fresh round of laughter…. after a moment, Faith joins in.)

…I can’t make this stuff up.

Hump-Day Hottie!

Posted in Hotties, Hump Day Hotties at 7:59 am by Faith

Yeah… it’s that day of the week again! My pick this week is SURE to be controversial. Hip-Hop Mama and I go ROUNDS over whether or not we think this guy is cute. (Obviously, I vote Yea; she rings in with a solid “Hell, no!”) Yeah, I’d probably have to dip him in a vat of sterilizing fluid a few hundred times before I could take him home with me (he was rumored to be with Britney Spears, for heaven’s sake, not to mention that whole sex tape fiasco…) but I don’t think that should preclude him from being foxy in that “Don’t touch him” kind of way. I am NOT ashamed to admit that I own most of the movies he made between 2000 and 2003… as they all star the hunkalicious Colin Farrell:

colin-farrell.jpg

Yes, he’s dirty. But you have to admit that he’s one of the cutest dirty boys you’ve ever seen.

May 28, 2007

Gone!

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:57 pm by Faith

Hey there…

I’ve been enjoying an absence from the blogosphere… I’ve been basking in the glow of being newly graduated. 🙂

Much to discuss. Will be posting soon.

Hope y’all are well!

May 18, 2007

….and Another One For My Homie…

Posted in Guilty Pleasures, Must See TV, Rants at 8:46 am by Faith

dr-evil-homie.jpg

Another one bites the dust.

We here at Faith’s Ambition would like to take a moment to mourn the loss of yet another great television show that’s being pulled before it’s time. Yesterday, The CW announced that it was canceling Veronica Mars.

Veronica Mars is off the air, yet crap like One Tree Hill is renewed for another yet another season of crap? *shaking head* I guess it really IS true what they say. Americans are idiots.

May 16, 2007

Hump-Day Hottie!

Posted in Hotties, Hump Day Hotties, Must See TV at 9:03 am by Faith

I’ve been watching a lot of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer lately. It’s a good show. And for some reason, EVERY crush I’ve ever had seems to get compared to this week’s Hump Day Hottie.

Sure, I know that Buffy and Angel were soulmates, and I know that Buffy and Spike had some smokin’ chemistry (and sex)… but in my heart, I will ALWAYS harbor a place for Buffy and her soldier, Riley Finn. Yeah, the relationship was pretty much doomed from the start, but you can’t deny the hotness that he carries. In honor of my love for Buffy: The Riley Years, I present this week’s Hump Day Hottie, Marc Blucas.

marcblucas2.jpg

It’s only a screenshot, but he’s a got a smokin’ bod to go with that face, too. Scout’s honor.

May 15, 2007

Closure is a Mother: Part II (aka Cold Hard Bitch)

Posted in Karate Kid, Life, Love at 12:11 pm by Faith

Sorry for the delay in getting this exciting conclusion out to you. I’ve been wrapped up in post-graduation bliss. It was actually kinda hard sitting down and telling myself to write this, but hey, I promised you guys a conclusion, so here it is:

I already mentioned how I experienced a chance encounter with Lucille Larusso that gave me a little bit of closure on the train wreck that was my relationship with Karate Kid. As I was leaving from my conversation with her, I made a wry remark to Kitrah along the lines of, “I’m so glad she saw me on a good day. I know her. She’s going straight back to Karate Kid and telling him EVERYTHING.”

Ohh, boy, was I ever right. About three weeks later, I was doing my thing downtown and pulled into the gas station to fill my gas tank before prices got even more ridiculous. I had already parked and started to fill my car with gasoline when I noticed it. Karate Kid’s car, parked over by the entrance of the building. I’m not going to lie. My initial instinct was to run. Instead, I chose the more mature approach of actually paying for my gasoline. My plan (yes, I had actually formulated a plan) was to act like I hadn’t seen his car, calmly pay for my purchase, and then get the hell out of that gas station. I was hoping that our paths wouldn’t even cross. It looked that way for a while… until I was leaving the gas station. Then, I hear, “Faith, we need to talk.” I turn to my right, and there he is: Karate Kid. I had no choice. It was an ambush. I was going to have to talk to him: (EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the truncated version. The ACTUAL version went on for thirty minutes. Here’s your highlight reel)

Karate Kid: We need to talk.
Faith: (sigh, glance at her watch) Okay, but I have ten minutes exactly before I need to be somewhere.
Karate Kid: Fine. (pause) God, you look good. My mom said you looked good, but I had no idea… you’re tan, and you cut your hair… did you lose weight, too?
Faith: Yeah. It’s amazing what happens when you have time to go to the gym on occasion now.
Karate Kid: I don’t want to fight. You just need to know that I made a mistake. I never should have broken up with you. I want to fix that right now.
Faith: (long pause) What?
Karate Kid: I thought that you made me miserable, but you don’t. I’m more miserable without you. And my mom tells me about how well you’re doing, and I can see you and how good you look, and how confident you look, and… why couldn’t you have found that confidence when we were together?
Faith: Are you saying that my lack of confidence was the reason things didn’t work out between us?
Karate Kid: Well, yeah!
Faith: (shaking head, getting mad) And we’re just ignoring the problems that I had with you? Is that how this is working? (pause) Do you want to know WHY I wasn’t confident when we were together?
Karate Kid: Because you couldn’t find it in yourself to be that way.
Faith: (laughing) No. It was because YOU KILLED IT out of me. I spent my days walking over eggshells trying not to piss you off because of the things you’d say to me.
Karate Kid: But don’t you miss what we lost?
Faith: Yeah, I miss it. I’m not going to lie. But in losing you, I found someone who is crazy… and funny… and witty. Someone who dances around the kitchen half-naked at two in the morning just because they feel like it. I found someone who is comfortable with the skin they’re in. I found someone who’s happy.
Karate Kid: (angry) Who are you dating?!
Faith: Not that it’s any of your business anymore, but I’m not dating anyone. I was talking about ME. After you left, I found all those things in me. And I’m happy. Without you.
Karate Kid: You can’t tell me that you don’t miss me.
Faith: (sad smile) I DO miss you. (pause) I just missed ME more. (starting to walk away)
Karate Kid: Oh, so you’re just going to walk away from everything we shared?
Faith: (turns around to face Karate Kid) No, I choose to run. (gets in her car and drives off)

After I drove away, I couldn’t believe what I had just done. Karate Kid had said EVERYTHING I wanted to hear… but I was shocked that it didn’t matter to me anymore. I knew he was totally wrong for me. I knew nothing had really changed, except he was regretting his decision to leave me. Had I taken him back, it would have been the same old cycle.

When I got home, I did something that I didn’t expect. I cried. Not the sad tears of “Oh, I should have taken him back,” but the frustrated tears of “I so did not need that just now.” and “Why in the hell wasn’t that as satisfying as I thought it would be?” After I was done crying, I did something else that I didn’t think I could do for at least a few more months. I deleted his number from my cell phone.

Goodbye, Karate Kid.

May 11, 2007

To Read Much Makes Faith Speak Gooder….

Posted in Life, Random, Uncategorized at 8:57 am by Faith

I found this meme over in Heather’s domain. Apparently, it’s one of those lists that you’re supposed to highlight the books you’ve read. Let’s see if I’m as intellectual as I’d like to believe:

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)–AUGH! One of my favorites!
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)–After “A Walk to Remember,” I swore off Nicholas Sparks. Sorry.
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)– Recommended to me by a brainy brainy man. Promised him it’s in the next two books I read.
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)-Been recommended to me so many times, I need to just buy the damn thing!
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible— I’ve read parts, does that count? Or spare me from eternal damnation? Didn’t think so.
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)

61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

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