May 15, 2007

Closure is a Mother: Part II (aka Cold Hard Bitch)

Posted in Karate Kid, Life, Love at 12:11 pm by Faith

Sorry for the delay in getting this exciting conclusion out to you. I’ve been wrapped up in post-graduation bliss. It was actually kinda hard sitting down and telling myself to write this, but hey, I promised you guys a conclusion, so here it is:

I already mentioned how I experienced a chance encounter with Lucille Larusso that gave me a little bit of closure on the train wreck that was my relationship with Karate Kid. As I was leaving from my conversation with her, I made a wry remark to Kitrah along the lines of, “I’m so glad she saw me on a good day. I know her. She’s going straight back to Karate Kid and telling him EVERYTHING.”

Ohh, boy, was I ever right. About three weeks later, I was doing my thing downtown and pulled into the gas station to fill my gas tank before prices got even more ridiculous. I had already parked and started to fill my car with gasoline when I noticed it. Karate Kid’s car, parked over by the entrance of the building. I’m not going to lie. My initial instinct was to run. Instead, I chose the more mature approach of actually paying for my gasoline. My plan (yes, I had actually formulated a plan) was to act like I hadn’t seen his car, calmly pay for my purchase, and then get the hell out of that gas station. I was hoping that our paths wouldn’t even cross. It looked that way for a while… until I was leaving the gas station. Then, I hear, “Faith, we need to talk.” I turn to my right, and there he is: Karate Kid. I had no choice. It was an ambush. I was going to have to talk to him: (EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the truncated version. The ACTUAL version went on for thirty minutes. Here’s your highlight reel)

Karate Kid: We need to talk.
Faith: (sigh, glance at her watch) Okay, but I have ten minutes exactly before I need to be somewhere.
Karate Kid: Fine. (pause) God, you look good. My mom said you looked good, but I had no idea… you’re tan, and you cut your hair… did you lose weight, too?
Faith: Yeah. It’s amazing what happens when you have time to go to the gym on occasion now.
Karate Kid: I don’t want to fight. You just need to know that I made a mistake. I never should have broken up with you. I want to fix that right now.
Faith: (long pause) What?
Karate Kid: I thought that you made me miserable, but you don’t. I’m more miserable without you. And my mom tells me about how well you’re doing, and I can see you and how good you look, and how confident you look, and… why couldn’t you have found that confidence when we were together?
Faith: Are you saying that my lack of confidence was the reason things didn’t work out between us?
Karate Kid: Well, yeah!
Faith: (shaking head, getting mad) And we’re just ignoring the problems that I had with you? Is that how this is working? (pause) Do you want to know WHY I wasn’t confident when we were together?
Karate Kid: Because you couldn’t find it in yourself to be that way.
Faith: (laughing) No. It was because YOU KILLED IT out of me. I spent my days walking over eggshells trying not to piss you off because of the things you’d say to me.
Karate Kid: But don’t you miss what we lost?
Faith: Yeah, I miss it. I’m not going to lie. But in losing you, I found someone who is crazy… and funny… and witty. Someone who dances around the kitchen half-naked at two in the morning just because they feel like it. I found someone who is comfortable with the skin they’re in. I found someone who’s happy.
Karate Kid: (angry) Who are you dating?!
Faith: Not that it’s any of your business anymore, but I’m not dating anyone. I was talking about ME. After you left, I found all those things in me. And I’m happy. Without you.
Karate Kid: You can’t tell me that you don’t miss me.
Faith: (sad smile) I DO miss you. (pause) I just missed ME more. (starting to walk away)
Karate Kid: Oh, so you’re just going to walk away from everything we shared?
Faith: (turns around to face Karate Kid) No, I choose to run. (gets in her car and drives off)

After I drove away, I couldn’t believe what I had just done. Karate Kid had said EVERYTHING I wanted to hear… but I was shocked that it didn’t matter to me anymore. I knew he was totally wrong for me. I knew nothing had really changed, except he was regretting his decision to leave me. Had I taken him back, it would have been the same old cycle.

When I got home, I did something that I didn’t expect. I cried. Not the sad tears of “Oh, I should have taken him back,” but the frustrated tears of “I so did not need that just now.” and “Why in the hell wasn’t that as satisfying as I thought it would be?” After I was done crying, I did something else that I didn’t think I could do for at least a few more months. I deleted his number from my cell phone.

Goodbye, Karate Kid.

Advertisements

11 Comments »

  1. I-66 said,

    It’s rare that the moment of closure goes exactly the way we plan. What matters is that it’s over and that you’re better now than you were before.

  2. Heather said,

    Good for you. I’m glad you had the chance to get some kind of closure. Ditto to everything I-66 said.

    But I gotta ask—you have to go inside to pay for gas? *mind boggled* I haven’t done that in years. That’s some Old School gas pumping right there. =P

  3. I-66 said,

    Oooh… paying inside. I didn’t even catch that. Around here we pay inside in cash, but only before pumping the gas to prevent all the driveaways that were happening when gas prices first started to rise years ago. I don’t know what it’s like in [redacted].

  4. Heather said,

    It’s all card swiping here. You can’t even pump gas without paying first.

  5. I-66 said,

    Crazy people in [redacted], with their post-pump payment. I thought it was all the same… gas and prostitution: Pay first, then pump.

  6. oob said,

    *Standing ovation*

    I don’t know you. You don’t know me. But I’m proud of you. Big hug, from one girl to another.

  7. Heather said,

    I-66,

    It’s more like having a crazy girlfriend. First you pump and then you pay and pay…

  8. Faith said,

    LOL. You two kill me. Seriously. That’s hot.

  9. Faith said,

    I-66 and Heather: For the record, you CAN pay outside with your debit/credit card. Being the lovable ditz that I am, however, I forgot my debit card on that particular day, hence the walking inside and paying with a check.

    We’re not THAT backwards here! We do have pay-at-the-pump like the rest of you city folk… 🙂

    Oob: Thanks. 🙂 I appreciate it.

  10. Heather said,

    Check? What are checks? They accept those things still?! =P Lol.

  11. Good on you, girl. I am proud of you as well.

    Mr. Right is out there, just a numbers game and a healthy outlook!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: