April 5, 2007

Reclaiming Faith

Posted in Karate Kid, Life, Love, The Infamous Ex at 11:20 am by Faith

I had an interesting realization yesterday. I got home from school and was greeted by The Pooch, who was very excited to see me. Generally, as The Pooch is an only dog, I like to leave the radio on for her so she doesn’t feel totally alone in the house while I’m gone. (Yes, I like to spoil my dog– anyone got a problem with that?)

Anyway, as I was giving The Pooch her usual hugs and scratches hello, one of my favorite songs came on the radio. I did something that I haven’t done in almost three years. I started DANCING, Ally McBeal style in the middle of my apartment. The Pooch wasn’t sure what to think. She cocked her head at me and then did something hilarious. Her tail started wagging and she started wiggling around and trying to jump up on me. It was like she was dancing, too!


After a few minutes, I stopped dancing and sat on the floor with The Pooch in my lap. I realized that spastic solo dancing around my apartment was something that I hadn’t done since BEFORE I started dating The Infamous Ex (who came before Karate Kid, for those of you in the audience keeping track of my lame-ass loser ex-boyfriends. Quick Backstory: Engaged to The Infamous Ex and had a hellacious breakup, to be followed by a year of making up and breaking up before I finally saw the light.) As this realization hit me, I could only smile because I knew what the spastic dancing around my apartment meant.

Before all my drama with the men in my life, I used to be this bubbly, happy, carefree person with TONS of energy. Co-workers and friends called me “The Pint-Sized Powerhouse.” As The Infamous Ex and I dated, I was still this person… for a while. Then I got caught up in all the dramatic bullshit that comes with being part of a dysfunctional couple, and that part of me slowly disappeared. I didn’t notice until I realized that this part of me was so far buried that I had NO CLUE as to how to find her again. Realizing that The Infamous Ex was poison to my personality, I broke all ties with him. Then I started dating The Karate Kid. This worked, too… for a while… until I realized that I was in EXACTLY the same situation with him that I had been in with The Infamous Ex, only worse now, because there was a child involved. (NOT MINE!)

Now, as the dust is settling on my relationship with The Karate Kid, I’m seeing something that I haven’t seen since before I started dating The Infamous Ex: I’m seeing that part of me that is so happy with life that she just has to kick up her heels and rock out around her apartment once in a while. Yeah, my life is far from perfect. But it’s a hell of a lot closer to perfect now that Karate Kid isn’t in it anymore. That happy, carefree soul with boundless energy is slowly emerging from the wreckage, and I couldn’t be happier about it. To quote Randal from Clerks II, “It’s okay. I’m taking it back.”

Welcome back, “Pint-Sized Powerhouse.” I’ve missed you.